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Life Is Pain
NCC Medical Ward Like its previous incarnation, this medical ward was designed with the medic in mind, with all the modern advances to make the dirty work of repairs a world easier. It is well lit, the blue and violet metal of the walls and decor is a shade paler here, and the ubiquitous filigree is missing, all to assist in ease of cleaning. Still, the place veritably sparkles. In the furniture, there is a subtle motif of blades and sharp edges, as if to evoke the scalpel of a surgeon, although it is all quite safe. Around two dozen beds, more comfortable than their sharp looks would suggest, fill the medical ward, laid out in a tidy grid, and more can be flipped out of the walls should emergency demand it. A set of tracks on the ceiling mirror the grid of beds, allowing advanced scanning equipment and tolls to be swiveled around to the various beds. Computer terminals and cabinets are molded right into the walls at intervals, and while there are the normal medical security cameras, it appears as if someone has set some of the cameras specifically to watch the cabinets. Scrapper is sittin' at his desk. The little glow from his optical visor isn't there. Maybe that means his opticsd are closed/turned off? The Constructicon isn't moving at all as he just peers straight forward. Clearly he is meditating about what the next great scheme from MSE should be. He is definitely not sleeping, though. Meditating. Remember. Not sleeping. Blueshift is lying in his medbay bed, all of his arms restrained in heavy casts, with a bit of scotch tape over his mouth. "MmmmMmmMpF!" he keeps trying to exclaim. "MmMMMmmpfffff!" Bonecrusher comes back in after having searched the surrounding area. He clomps through the medical bay to Scrapper's desk. "Hey Chief, I... hm. Never mind, I forgot what I was gonna ask you." Bonecrusher is hanging around by Scrapper's desk, not doing a whole lot at the moment. Scrapper continues to meditate/not sleep, apparently not hearing the sounds of Blueshift struggling against his casts. Funny, he didn't look all that damaged in the video. But when Bonecrusher walks in and talks to him, the glow on his optical visor returns and he looks up, "What? Oh, sorry about that, I couldn't hear you over the sounds of Blueshift struggling in vain to say something from within his casts." "MmmMMPPF!" Blueshift mumbles, shaking his casts violently. "Mm-Mmp-MMpFfffFFF!" Bonecrusher lets a low chuckle slip out. "I like when they struggle in vain, it adds a lot to the inevitability of victory angle." He pauses and thinks back, slowly. "Never mind, I forgot what it was I came in to ask you. Don't want to wake you." Scrapper nods and spares a glance at Blueshift. "I wonder what he's trying to say right now." Looking back at Bonecrusher, he hmms. Now what /would/ he have come in here to say? "Did it involve destroying things?" Blueshift stares at Scrapper hard. "Ump ump ump, ump ump ump!" he exclaims, wiggling one of his 'medical' restraints forcefully, as if to make some sort of point. "Mpff ump rum-us ump!" "We can't hear you, you've got that thing over your mouth," says Bonecrusher helpfully. He turns back to Scrapper, brow knit in concentration. "Mm... probably?" Scrapper taps his faceplate. "Then it seems we have two mysteries here to solve, Bonecrusher!" he exclaims. "What is Blueshift trying to say, and what did you come in here to say. Could it be that these two seemingly separate plotlines will eventually converge?!" Blueshift starts to strain harder against one of his arm casts, looking like his is going to break something. With a strained "MMmmMMMM!" he pulls hard and there is a large SNAP. And a wail of pain as Blueshift manages to crack his arm in a neat rightangle "You shouldn't do that, it's not gonna work right if you bend it that way," Bonecrusher suggests, looking thoughtful. "That reminds me of something, though... Oh!" A light seems to come into his eyes suddenly. "I had an idea for a project about destroying things." Bonecrusher elaborates, "You know how Devastator is the best and strongest Decepticon, right? And the greenest." Scrapper winces as Blueshift rips his own arm. "Hey hey, don't do that, Blueshift. You're in the medical bay to get /better/, not to get /more hurt/." He looks back at Bonecrusher, "Naturally," he answers. "Uck-eck-ACK! Aaaargh!" shouts Blueshift as he finally manages to *eat* the tape over his mouth as he writhes about like an upturned (blue) tortoise. "Better? Better? I am mended already, let me out there to face down that cur Prime!" Bonecrusher begins pacing slowly, hands clasped behind his back and head down pensively as he unspools this carefully-constructed idea from somewhere in his slow-moving mind. "But because of that, no one else is as strong or as green... how to put it... Devastator is peerless, so he has no peers with which to annihilate his enemies. The other day I was over in the top right side of the Autobot continent... America... by that big city. I was just holding those boats they've got there underwater until stuff floated up, for fun, you know?" Bonecrusher holds up a finger to Blueshift. "Quiet, we're scheming over here!" Scrapper spares only a brief glance at Blueshift. Something about Prime? He couldn't mean Rodimus Prime, could he? Naaah. "Devastator is peerless, yes." Scrapper pauses to glance around the medical bay before adding in the required low mutter, "Save-for-Galvatron." He nods. "Right right. Underwater boats. Like Depthcharge." Blueshift looks like he might cry if he was not a big scary warrior. "Scrapper!" he wails. "You still have not fulfilled our bargain of necessity, I have the data you require secreted on my person!" (dont ask :( ) He wiggles his restraints a bit more to show he means business "No, just regular boats," replies Bonecrusher. "If you push them down stuff comes out." He pauses for a while, having been sidetracked. "Anyhow, I saw that big green lady they have there, you remember, from New Year's Eve that one time? And I thought, she would be much better if she could destroy. She's Devastator's size, and she's almost as green. If we built one like her but, you know, a Decepticon... then we could destroy together." Bonecrusher explains, "Your thing with the laser eyes kind of gave me the idea." Scrapper stares back at Bonecrusher for a few seconds. Then he stares at Blueshift. Mmmm... lesser of two evils... lesser of two evils... "But then we wouldn't be peerless anymore," he says first to Blueshift. The Constructicon then glances back at Blueshift, looking annoyed. "Oh... right. The bargain. /Fine/. Well lets see first the readings you got. Where's the scanner?" Aw, shit -Here comes Meaty Bone. Long Haul, the proverbial bull in the china shop makes his way into the medical ward. He moves as carefully as he can, but let's face it. The guy is built like a dump truck. "Heya, fellas." he rumbles as he comes into the ward. "What's the docket t'day?" Bonecrusher thinks on that a while. "Oh... yeah. I guess it does work the other way too, doesn't it." Blueshift struggles with his broken arm against the bed. "Nnnnn I have stored it safely in my frontal hip compartment where it is secure from any Autobot who would dare to steal the precious data. Now fulfil your side of our bargain! Glory to Galvatron!" Bonecrusher has been explaining one of his occasional ideas to Scrapper, who raised an excellent point that Bonecrusher had (obviously) not considered. Bonecrusher seems lost in thought before he eventually hears Long Haul several seconds after the fact. "That guy is making a lot of noise and it's something to do with Scrapper and some data apparently." Scrapper gives BC and Long Haul the short explanation as he walks over to retrieve the scanner to make sure the data on it doesn't suck. "I had Blueshift here run some readings on the Petrified Forest. You know, that place with all those bizarro tower structures out there? I wanted to see what condition they're in and if they could be repaired." Go on. Ask Scrapper what they do. "Yeah yeah, glory to Galvatron," he says as an afterthought to Blueshift. Long Haul looks over to Blueshift, then, and offers some sage advice: "Shut up wouldja? We're tryin' ta fix ya over heah. Yer yappin' like that lil' annoyin' orange Autobrat kid. Scraps knows what he's doin' so jus' let 'em do it." he then looks to Scrapper, "Wait, ain't those used to be trees? Tress what turned to stone, right? Yea, how ya gonna repair trees, Scraps?" Blueshift twitches. "It was full of Turborats and Autobots, but the Autobots hid in the shadows, never coming out. I knew they were there though, I'm too clever for them. I'll get them next time..." Bonecrusher scoffs at Long Haul's foolishness. "Trees aren't made out of rocks! Those are like two completely different things! You'd better stick to the heavy lifting and leave the heavy thinking to Scrapper and Hook, bud." Scrapper shrugs at LH. "I hadn't worked that part out yet..." He looks over the scanner to make sure it actually has the data on the structures there. What could be contained in that scanner? What indeed? What mysteries could lay in the scanner of destiny? Within it lay scans of half the spires, a dead turbo-rat, a rock, a few of Blueshift's face, a wall and Tuxedo's back. "Nnnn, glorious, is it not? Soon the Autobots will be impaled on those spires!" Blueshift mutters Long Haul if he could roll his optics, he would. "Listen, Crusha, at least gimme a lil' bit a credit that I actually /know/ somethin' ya know? I do more in my spare time than slug down energon and toot my horn, ya know? I do a bit a readin'. Stuff written by..doctas and the like! Stuff you couldn't even unnerstand, let alone read. The suddle-T would be too much for ya." again, to Scrapper, "You want me to look into it? I could try an' figure out how it happens - I bet I could find it in one-a dose earth gi-joe-graffy books." okay, so his speech and pronunciation are off, but he's smart - right? So what if Blue ignores him. He knows what's goin' on! "Uh huh," Scrapper replies in a neutral tone. He's actually somewhat impressed. This is like a hijillion times better than he expected from Blueshift! He sets the scanner aside. "Now then, where's that thing you wanted me to install in you?" he asks. What is it with Swindle and giving Scrapper work to do? He nods at LH. "Sure, go for it. Can't hurt!" Right? Right?! Blueshift shakes his manacled (for MEDICAL REASONS) leg. "I keep it safe in my hip compartment, it is precious, its power will put me up above the gods. With this magic box of Swindle's in my possession, Prime won't stand a chance!" Bonecrusher points a finger pugnaciously at Long Haul and starts to protest that he reads things too, but stops when he realizes it is a complete lie. He doesn't even read warning signs. "Well, uh. Hmm." A long pause while he thinks. "You form the butt!" Long Haul blinks, and his highly intellectualized reading list becomes a rompin' stompin' LH - "I form da FREAKIN' TORSO!! That's da TRUNK ya know. So the rest a you yahoos have some where to stick what arms and legs ya form. Jeeze, I thought you knew better, Crusha - don't make me freakin' hurtcha!" he clangs a closed fist into his open hand, Biff Tannen style. Scrapper lets LH and BC argue it out while he gets the device out and examines it. "Heh, Swindle sold this to you, huh? Heh heh," Of course, Scrapper knows how Blueshift paid for it - by bluffing Scourge so he could get six pairs of Seeker wings. That Blueshift can be crafty, sometimes. Sorta. "Ok, I'll do it." This is going to be a really simple job. Ten minutes tops. But if Scrapper feels guilty about making Blueshift jump through all these hoops for just ten minutes worth of work, he doesn't show it. Bonecrusher snickers. He knows just how to get under Long Haul's skin. "Oh yeah, so if you're the body then what's Hook, wise guy? Huh? Riddle me that, ya mental wizard." Blueshift would shake a fist in trumph, but instead flops his broken arm around uselessly. "Excellent, may the praise of the mighty fist of Galvatron fall upon you Scrapper! You are indeed a technological marvel!" Long Haul shrugs, "Well duh, ya numbnad - he forms DA FREAKIN' HEAD!!!" (channelin' Sandler much?) he crosses..well..no, not quite his arms, cuz they aren't long enough. He /does/ put them on his hips. "Doesn't mean he's got all da brains - we give 'em his brains. All of us. Well, mebbe not you, Crusha, but don't feel bad 'bout dat." he overhears the last of Blueshift's comment, and waggles his finger "Hey now, we don't talk about Galvatron fistin' nothin' in the medward - have some class, will ya?!" Scrapper peers. Is Galvatron's mighty fist falling on you praise? I mean really. C'mon now. He nods in agreement with Long Haul. "Now then, just hold still - ha ha, that's a little medical humour for you there, Blueshift." For you see, Blueshift is already restrained. Convenient! Scrapper works to turn off Shift's pain receptors so he won't cry like a baby. Bonecrusher has apparently been defeated by Long Haul's logic. "Oh... yeah, I guess he does, huh. With everybody's help." This moral lesson sinks in for a few moments. "Okay, I didn't wanna fight ya anyhow, you're my brudda, we's like this." He crosses two fingers, then claps Long Haul on the shoulder. "Tell you what, next time we merge we can sit on one of the Autobots just so you can get a hit in." Blueshift has never cried like a little baby. He cries like a Decepticon warrior (that this sounds as a little baby would cry is incidental). "Aaah Scrapper, it is good to be a patient of your tender hands" he mutters. "Do you know, your med team seem to be lacking the most basic of equipment and care these days. I didn't think a brick was a medically approved tool anymore..." "Should've used a cinderblock, those are way better," chortles Bonecrusher. "Regular bricks are for tapes and minibots." Long Haul nods, "Yeah, ye right, Crusha. I don't get too much chances ta hit anythin'. Too busy holdin' the whole works togetha. So yeh, we'll find us an Autobot punk ta sit on. Not one of the spiny ones though - that'd hurt like a mutha." he seems to have been calmed some by the relative logic of Bonecrusher. Einsteins, the both of 'em!" Scrapper chimes in on the ass-attack conversation. "What about whenever we fall on people? That counts as Long Haul hits." The Constructicon works on installing Blueshift's doohicky into Blueshift. It's a really easy job. "Insert tab A into slot A..." Scrapper reads from the little instruction sticker on it. "Insert tab B into slot B..." "Sooo" mutters Blueshift as he hears Bonecrusher. "The medical staff seek to hold back proper treatment do they? Scrapper, I demand I have this 'cinderblock' applied to my wounds as soon as possible, Galvatron would not want his mightiest warrior to go without the proper care!" "Well, go get me a cinderblock and I'd be all over it," replies Bonecrusher with a big grin. "Nurse Bonecrusher can handle the cinderblock application," Scrapper says before going back to reading the instructions. He inserts tab A into slot A, and inserts tab B into slot B. He reads the next line out loud. "Ensure that tab A is inserted into slot A, and that tab B is inserted into slot B." He looks his handiwork over again. "Ok, looks like we're done here," he begins closing Blueshift back up. "Aaaah I feel better than ever!" emits Blueshift, still strapped down and broken. "Truly your skill as a surgeon is without reproach, Scrapper. Soon I will rain down my revenge upon the Autobots and humans, and take my rightful place in the empire! Hail Galvatron!" "Hail Galvatron," Scrapper replies instinctively. He finishes closing up the pop-up panel that he removed in order to install whatever it was Swindle gave him. "Sure thing. Good luck against Prime. But, uh, when you fight him? Don't... don't bother mentioning that I helped you out. Don't mention my name. Just... play it natural." Blueshift nods "Of course Scrapper, you wish to stay behind the scenes. But do not be afraid of glory, it will come to those who deserve it. In time you will learn, I will make note of your assistance to our Lord Galvatron, I am sure you will be suitably rewarded" Long Haul shakes his head, "Aw geeze, like we need the fist of Galvatron's Glory upon us once again. Can't we just do stuff and be done wit it?" Bonecrusher looks up, distracted. "Right, hail Galvatron." Scrapper nods to Blueshift. "Exactly. Behind the scenes..." after a few moment's consideration, Scrapper goes ahead and removes the medical restraints. He'd prefer Blueshift wasn't here, after all.